When Will My Life Begin?

I’ve seen enough movies to know that life after graduation isn’t exactly spectacular, especially in today’s economy. Internships w/ painfully low pay--or better yet, no pay at all--are somehow still coveted positions, because it means that we get to add yet another item to our resume. Almost as if we’re just collecting stamps on a passport.

I know this more than anyone. I’ve signed up for more unpaid internships than I care to divulge. Some were just to add that extra stamp (one had a perk of stipend money… holla!), others were just because they sounded like fun.

And I knew getting a job in my field wouldn't be easy. Getting a dream job right away wouldn't be possible. I (regrettably) saw the movie "Post Grad." I knew what was coming.

But I never imagined that life after graduation would feel like such a void. There are many times in the week where I feel like this

Some days I just sit and wonder

1. How did I get here?

2. Where do I go from here? 

It’s like my life is on pause. I feel stuck, and sometimes moving somewhere else sounds like the only option.

Not only that, but I’m so busy it hurts. My schedule right now:

I work 40 hours a week
I have an internship
I have a side job

It's exhausting, and leaves little time for anything or anyone else. Sometimes it feels like every moment of my day is geared toward making money, or hoping that I’ll progress toward the job I really want and really will love. I don't like that.

As much as I love Provo, I feel the need for a change. It’s more than the usual travel bug I get every so often. It’s a feeling that this is a chapter in my life that needs to be closed.

I will miss my friends terribly, I will miss the food terribly, I will (surprisingly) miss the quirky culture; where else does a town throw a FREE scavenger hunt just because it wants to beat a record?

But let’s be real. Many of my friends are already moving away. David and I are total “foodies,” so we’ll find good food anywhere we go. And I love new cultures, new architecture, new adventures and chances for growth. I’ve lived in Provo since 2008 (with a few breaks in between), and I feel myself being pulled to other parts of the world. I’m ready for this next adventure in my life. In fact, I’ve never been more ready.

(though i'm sure i will be seriously conflicted when the time comes)

Until then I wait patiently until David finishes up school. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll figure out our next step in life, and I won't feel so lost in the world.